"Poets loved the full moon, they wrote thousands of poems about it, but it was the new moon that Veronika loved the best because there was still room for it to grow, to expand, to fill the whole of its surface with light before its inevitable decline."
Maybe she chose to commit suicide because she thought that her life has now reached the full moon phase and there would be nothing but decline.
"What makes a person hate themselves? -Cowardice perhaps. Or the eternal fear of being wrong, of not doing what others expect."
Its always natural to protect and defend oneself. How often have we heard ourselves justify to everyone that what we did and said was right because I can rarely be wrong, and even if I am I surely cannot let you tell me without trying to prove otherwise. And yet at some point this spirit leaves us so that we set out to harm the ME.
" 'Be like the fountain that overflows, and not merely like the cistern that contains.' -English poet
I always thought it was dangerous to overflow, because we might end up flooding areas occupied by our loved ones and drowning them with our love and enthusiasm. All my life I did my best to be a cistern, never going beyond the limits of my inner walls.
........ But yesterday, because of a piano and a young woman who is probably dead by now, I learned something very important: life inside is exactly the same as the life inside. Both there and here, people gather together in groups, they bulid their walls and allow nothing strange to trouble their mediocre existences. They do things because they're used to doing them, they study useless subjects, they have fun because they're supposed to have fun, and the rest of the world can go hang - let them sort themselves out. At the very most, they watch the news on television - as we often did - as as confirmation of their happiness, in a world full of problems and injustices.
What I'm saying is that the life of the Fraternity is exactly the same as the lives of almost everyone outside Villete, carefully avoiding all knowledge of what lies beyond the glass walla of the aquarium. For a long time, it was comforting and useful, but people change, and now I'm off in search of adventures, even though I'm sixty-five and fully aware of all the limitations that age can bring. I'm going to Bosnia. There are people waiting for me there. Although they don't yet know me, and i don't know them. But I'm sure I'm sure I can be useful, and the danger of an adventure is worth thousand days of ease and comfort. "
