This is my third post today!! If you look at the average I tend to write 3 posts over a period of 2 months normally but today I just can't stop. Now this post might be absolutely pointless and random(they often are) but heck I don't really care.
I'm sitting in my room stuck in front of laptop with a feeling at the back of my mind that keeps reminding me I should start studying. (I'm not sure how feelings can remind you something but mine does so beat it.) (I will after this post.)It is almost 2 am and the night is beautiful. Not as dark as nights should be since the sky has an orangish glow in the horizon. Almost like the sun is lurking just out of sight and about to rise though I know that won't happen for a few hours. I muse over it often and end up blaming it on the light pollution but tonight I don't feel like blaming it. I like the idea of a rising sun. The harbour beyond, glowing and breathing. It never sleeps.
There is a world out there waiting to be explored. And I realised for the first time that you need courage to do that. Courage to get out of your comfort zone. To peek out and see and accept new things and people. It doesn't sound difficult now does it? But then again its not only courage that you need but a few other things as well. Ah well....
Would I be wiser or more ignorant if I knew more about the world?? On the surface it seems like duh!!! Wiser?!?! But truly if I knew more wouldn't I know more about just how much more I should be knowing? There's no end to it. So maybe its just as well that my world is limited to the world revolving around me. The little things that make no difference in the cosmic sense of the world(or maybe... just maybe they do but being totally human I can't see it... ) but they make up "my" world.
I might or might not have mentioned that once I wanted to become the President. I had it all figured out. Get rich soon. Become politically involved. (I would figure out how after I am rich. Or just hire someone freaking smart to do that since I am rich you know.) Become the president and make the country a better place. Simple.
And I never bothered to ask if I would always be right. I don't think the people up there are always right but you are expected to be so aren't you? I know right now I my intentions and principles are in place on a large scale. And they probably would still be a few years down the lane. So that makes me better than some people already. But still would I be able to sleep if I knew that the lives of millions of people rests on my decisions??? My mood swings and whims cannot affect my work at all. What would my priorities be?? Do I have it in me to choose the right thing and more importantly stick to it no matter what? Why should other people pay if I make a mistake? Should they pay for believing in me? Its a very difficult job and I would never forgive myself if I did more harm than good. Ahh well it just means I have to prepare myself well for the task. :D
People are still up and around. I'm not sure if NUS ever sleeps. Its always alive. And yet I wonder if this was the kind of uni life I expected. I'm not blaming the uni since I know that it will give me the life I choose. I don't like being so clueless. And I really envy the people who are sure of exactly what they. Maybe I do have a vague idea or a concrete one.
Rambling helps. :D
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