And I sat there and wondered why. Wondered why I was there. Wondered why I couldn't let go. Wondered why I wouldn’t let go. Tried to find a meaning in all of it. Tried to make sense of it. But I couldn’t. I had no idea what the fuck was happening!!! And I didn’t want any of it. Not one bit of it.
The waves crashed against the shore. The soft, cool breeze brushed against my face and I tried to keep the hair off my face. It was the most soothing sound ever, that of the endless ocean crashing against the piece of land. The horizon lighted by a string of lights and undefined shapes. Shapes that could be anything that I wanted them to. Or just lights lighting the skyline into a brilliance that was almost indecent at that hour. And once again I looked at the ocean and hoped that all that beauty would show me some meaning, some sense, some reason. That fascinating expanse of dark waters holds many mysteries and yet no answers!! Yes, it was silly of me to expect it to give me some semblance of meaning.
You see the fact is that I have the answers and I know that. But I don’t want to look deep inside sometimes while at other times I just don’t have the courage to recognise these answers. Don’t we all deny things some times?? Just go along with things the way they are. And one day when you look around you wonder how you got there. Did you really want to be there? Is it where you want to be? And you know the worst thing is often you won’t get away. You’ll stick to it and try to find a reason. Any reason that would convince you that it is where you should be, where you want to be! But why do you want to do that!?? Yes, I know it is difficult to leave the comfort zone but all right things are not always simple. Once in a while it’s going to be tough and confusing but you can do it.
I know that was vague. It was meant to be.
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