Dear Indian television,
See I don’t wanna curse you and all right now even though you are supremely retarded and probably one of the dumbest things on this planet made for people with brains the size of an ant’s kidney-stone because I need you now. As simple as that. So can you please show something a wee bit sensible or entertaining atleast? I have way too much time and nothing to do and a good dose of TV is what Nirali needs. I haven’t had TV for what like 10 months and I can’t be sick of it already. L I like the pretty dresses and ahh well you might as well make it a fashion show with awesome sets and decent music (yes I’m sorry to break your brittle heart but you do need different, good music that is a lot less melodramatic and probably a bit nicer you know.... you could try something with) with no one talking since hardly anyone says anything worth listening to.
Please look into the aforementioned issue and I will be highly grateful. If you want I’m more than willing to help. While I’m at it maybe I could look into the judges for some of the shows who are supremely dull and imbecile. Or the anchors who could win an award for the longest string of dumb things ever said by anyone on TV. Ohh and yes I think I’ll have to help you with the guys you have on the show who could be more charming and maybe win over the girl without 5 minutes of background music and a lovey-dovey song and boring-the-shit-out-of-the-audience look on his face.
Coming to think of it you don’t need to do anything just let me help and I’ll try to make something of it.
Yours truly
Genuinely bored and truly concerned viewer.
Dear Shahrukh,
You’ve been my favourite for a long time. It was a childish fascination I must say but you were always entertaining to say the least though I never fell in love with you. But you have been disappointing me consistently. So much so that I don’t even remember the last decent movie that you made that I really really liked. Well, I can’t make excuses for you anymore (I know you didn’t ask me to ever but I couldn’t help it). It’s just not worth it. So really if you want to be worthy of your stardom you should start doing some quality work. There are so many others out there more deserving of the fame.
Yours truly,
A lost fan
PS: Just to make it clear you’re not a favourite anymore. All the best.
Dear Rajkot and its people,
You’ve been a very dear place and home to me but let me tell you something. You’ve just made a very big mistake by electing the wrong person. Normally you don’t give a crap which way this country goes but for once you had a chance to do something right. Yes, I might be biased but I know for a fact that the guy you didn’t elect was good. And frankly now you’ll probably get what you deserve for making dumb choices. You’re just blinded and can’t see a man for what he is.
Yours truly
Regretful for not being here to vote!
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