I must ramble

This is my third post today!! If you look at the average I tend to write 3 posts over a period of 2 months normally but today I just can't stop. Now this post might be absolutely pointless and random(they often are) but heck I don't really care.


I'm sitting in my room stuck in front of laptop with a feeling at the back of my mind that keeps reminding me I should start studying. (I'm not sure how feelings can remind you something but mine does so beat it.) (I will after this post.)It is almost 2 am and the night is beautiful. Not as dark as nights should be since the sky has an orangish glow in the horizon. Almost like the sun is lurking just out of sight and about to rise though I know that won't happen for a few hours. I muse over it often and end up blaming it on the light pollution but tonight I don't feel like blaming it. I like the idea of a rising sun. The harbour beyond, glowing and breathing. It never sleeps.

There is a world out there waiting to be explored. And I realised for the first time that you need courage to do that. Courage to get out of your comfort zone. To peek out and see and accept new things and people. It doesn't sound difficult now does it? But then again its not only courage that you need but a few other things as well. Ah well....

Would I be wiser or more ignorant if I knew more about the world?? On the surface it seems like duh!!! Wiser?!?! But truly if I knew more wouldn't I know more about just how much more I should be knowing? There's no end to it. So maybe its just as well that my world is limited to the world revolving around me. The little things that make no difference in the cosmic sense of the world(or maybe... just maybe they do but being totally human I can't see it... ) but they make up "my" world.

I might or might not have mentioned that once I wanted to become the President. I had it all figured out. Get rich soon. Become politically involved. (I would figure out how after I am rich. Or just hire someone freaking smart to do that since I am rich you know.) Become the president and make the country a better place. Simple.

And I never bothered to ask if I would always be right. I don't think the people up there are always right but you are expected to be so aren't you? I know right now I my intentions and principles are in place on a large scale. And they probably would still be a few years down the lane. So that makes me better than some people already. But still would I be able to sleep if I knew that the lives of millions of people rests on my decisions??? My mood swings and whims cannot affect my work at all. What would my priorities be?? Do I have it in me to choose the right thing and more importantly stick to it no matter what? Why should other people pay if I make a mistake? Should they pay for believing in me? Its a very difficult job and I would never forgive myself if I did more harm than good. Ahh well it just means I have to prepare myself well for the task. :D

People are still up and around. I'm not sure if NUS ever sleeps. Its always alive. And yet I wonder if this was the kind of uni life I expected. I'm not blaming the uni since I know that it will give me the life I choose. I don't like being so clueless. And I really envy the people who are sure of exactly what they. Maybe I do have a vague idea or a concrete one.

Rambling helps. :D

Virtual lives

I've thought about this for a quite sometime and wanted to write about it.

Ever since the instant messengers have been around we have developed virtual personalities. The person who chats is not always the the person we are. And this personality(split) has only become glaringly obvious with the advent of the social sites.

When I created my Orkut account more than 2 years back I realised that I was actually advertising myself and I didn't really like that. I noticed that I could be whatever I thought was cool. Or I could choose to portray only the sides of myself that I thought were entertaining or attractive. And for what??? Was I trying to be a cool person???

Coming to think of it, isn't that what we all do in our lives. We meet people and we act. We package ourselves coolly to gain notice and appreciation. Only FB allows you to create your profile and tell it all blatantly. Just how many of us are being ourselves when we create our profiles????? Yes we want to show how happy, cool(I totally cannot help using it repetitively. I'm not outta words, its just apt), creative and popular we are.

You see I'm not criticising the social sites or people who fill up their profiles with pics and tons of info but just questioning what we really are. I often come across as chatty and witty when I'm chatting. I don't think I'm half that entertaining in person. (Unless you know me really well or I'm high. Not necessarily on alcohol.)

SO now the point being, am I being myself when online or am I pretending? Which is the real me? I know they are 2 facets of my personality but then how are they so different. Is the anonymous nature of the internet where I am not face to face with people let me open up more easily to people?? It has created an entire social sphere with rules and values of its own. Its surprising how often I hear myself say that, "I know her, I've seen her on FB". I try to rebel(I'm not sure why since I fail to see anything wrong with this culture.) and not be a part of it. But I still log onto FB every few hours even if I don't do anything.

I guess in the end it all adds up to me.

My name is NIRALI!!!

Lots of things really really piss me off. Something which pisses me off more than people saying "hair ARE" (really!!! y???!?!?!), tomatoes on pizzas (that's not really pissing but annoying), wet socks and socks with floaters to name a few is someone mispronouncing my name.

Tell me just how difficult is it?? Its such a short simple name. 3 short syllables. Ni ra li!! Short!!! I mean really try saying them aloud one at a time.

Ni

Ra

li

Is it that difficult??? Its not "Narali". NOT "Neerali". What did I say about short syllables? Not Nirani! (REALLY)

*Shakes her head in frustration.* Really is it such an effort for even snail-like brains to say 3 short syllables(I can't stress it enough) together without short-circuiting their miniscule brains??

I have met people on and off especially after coming to Singapore who have almost driven me mad by mispronouncing my name. But how are you supposed to correct your teachers with speaking disabilities without sounding like a prick? Its not like my name is not written in English but some mysterious characters. Can't they just read it???

Worst is when some people end my name with a weird gurgling sound. I mean ANNOYING!!! That one I can't even imitate or write since its a sound!!! All that after I take care to say your name properly! Ingratitude. Why???

I understand if you have speech problems and its impossible for you to say my name for some unknown reason. But you can hear properly rt?? Please refrain from saying my name if you hear it wrongly unless I am going to die if you don't call out for me! I might end up cursing you endlessly if you don't and though I'm not sure how that is going to affect you but you might not want to take risks!

PS: I am now okay Nirari if I know that you can actually say Nirali correctly but prefer Nirari once again due to unknown reasons.

Insane?? Yes.

Twilight! High hopes?

And finally finally I saw twilight. And yet if left to me I wouldn't have been able to go but well some people are persistent. :)

It was cool. Nicely made. Interesting and cutely romantic. Different from almost everything I've seen till now and a very different angle on love and romance.

As I continue this post which I had started nearly a month ago I have finished reading the four novels also.

My stance:

Twilight: Awesome. Love Edward Cullen. Cutely Romantic. Once again.

New Moon: Not awesome. Mainly because Edward is not around. Too depressing. Really.

Eclipse: Once again not that great. Not captivating. Not gripping. Probably because
the novelty wore off and there was nothing to keep me going.

Breaking Dawn: I actually thought that its really stupid. I mean really imprinting and all was just ludicrous! (I dint find vampires ludicrous at all.) But because it was mostly happy happy(really true love and happiness for eternity!) I guess I couldn't dislike it totally.

I would classify it as a classic if the happy ending came after the first book. Yes, agreed love forever is probably the most romantic ending imaginable. Everyone and everything is just too perfect. The way we always want it to be but yet we never get it. (Perfection is an illusion.) And this perfect ending comes at the end of the fourth book. It leaves a dreamy look in your eyes and a smile on your face. So I'm not sure why I'm still not satisfied except that I still think the happy ending was when she was human and hopelessly and truly in love with him. Nothing else really mattered. That's the point. Nothing else matters when you find that. (Darn!! I sound like a romantic don't I?? I am not one! Or not. Errmmmmm)

There was so much hype that probably I had very high expectations which is why I feel like I was let down. (I totally can't remember that totally cool, philosophical sounding opinion I had about expectations. DAMN!)

I know life is not supposed to be perfect and that is why we have books and movies with perfect endings but ah well.....

Lastly. Notwithstanding everything I said above I was totally hooked to the books and finished the entire series in less than 10 days. I was obsessed enough to dream that I was a vampire too. (I'm not proud of it. Really. (No sarcasm intended):D ) And did I mention that I still love Edward Cullen no matter what! :D

Chasing bubbles

So many things in life are like chasing bubbles. It fascinates and allures you. You go after it single-minded (most of the times), forgetting everything around except the bubble. And when you do reach it and try to get it, it bursts or it floats out of sight, by when it is too late to find your way back. I am not sure if I've chased bubbles in my life. Maybe I have or maybe not. But at some point in our lives I think we all do.

Maybe its all about the chase more so than catching the bubble. If not you are in for disappointment and frustration not to mention being lost if you've chased it too far.

I saw this girl today blowing bubbles. (I loved doing that as a kid. And normally made a mess spilling the soap water and then trying to make some on my own. Which never worked as you might have guessed. Still lotsa fun!) Anywho like any other kid she was fascinated by this colourful thing that appeared suddenly and floated away. And she ran after it trying to catch it. Cute!!?!? And a part of me wondered when she would realise that bubbles are not meant to be caught. Was she better off not knowing that??

Even though I knew she can't catch that bubble I chase my own bubbles. Equally ignorant. Am I better off not knowing that they are bubbles?? I am not really sure. But I will continue to do so. It's all about the chase rt??

My Old Kentucky Home

Words and Music by: Stephen C. Foster

The sun shines bright in the old Kentucky home
'Tis summer, the people are gay;
The corn top's ripe and the meadow's in the bloom,
While the birds make music all the day;
The young folks roll on the little cabin floor,
All merry, all happy, and bright,
By'n by hard times comes a-knocking at the door,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Chorus

Weep no more, my lady,
Oh weep no more today!
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky home,
For the old Kentucky home far away.

They hunt no more for the 'possum and the coon,
On meadow, the hill and the shore,
They sing no more by the glimmer of the moon,
On the bench by that old cabin door;
The day goes by like a shadow o'er the heart,
With sorrow where all was delight;
The time has come when the people have to part,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Chorus

The head must bow and the back will have to bend,
Wherever the people may go;
A few more days and the trouble all will end
In the field where sugar-canes may grow;
A few more days for to tote the weary load,
No matter, 'twill never be light,
A few more days till we totter on the road,
Then my old Kentucky home, good night!

Chorus

When this cruel war is over

Dearest Love, do you remember?

When we last did meet?

How you told me that you loved me kneeling at my feet.

How proud you stood before me in your suit of blue [grey]

When you vowed to me and country ever to be true? [nevermore to stray]

Weeping, sad and lonely, hopes and fears, how vain!

When this cruel war is over praying then to meet again.

When the summer breeze is sighing, mournfully along,

Or when autumn leaves are falling, sadly breathes this song.

Oft in dreams I see thee lying on the battle plain,

Lonely, wounded, even dying, calling out in vain.

Weeping, sad and lonely, hopes and fears, how vain!

When this cruel war is over praying then to meet again.

If amid the din of battle, nobly you should fall,

Far away from those who love you, none to hear you call

Who would whisper words of comfort, who would soothe your pain?

Ah! The many cruel fancies, ever in my brain.

Weeping, sad and lonely, hopes and fears, how vain!

When this cruel war is over praying then to meet again.

But our Country called you, Darling, angels cheer your way;

While our nation's sons are fighting, we can only pray.

Nobly strike for God and Liberty, let all nations see,

How we loved our starry banner, emblem of the free.

Weeping, sad and lonely, hopes and fears, how vain!

When this cruel war is over praying then to meet again.

She is far from the land

She is far from the land
Where her young hero sleeps,
And lovers are round her, sighing;
But coldly she turns
From their gaze, and weeps,
For her heart in his grave is lying.

She sings the wild songs
Of her dear native plains,
Ev'ry note which she loved awakening -
Ah! little they think
Who delight in her strains,
How the heart of the Minstrel
is breaking.

He had lived for his love,
For his country he died,
They were all that to life
Had entwined him -
Nor soon shall the tears
Of his country be dried,
Nor long will his love
Stay behind him.

Oh! make her a grave
Where the sunbeams rest,
When they promise a glorious morrow;
They'll shine o'er her sleep
Like a smile from the West,
From her own loved
Island of sorrow.

-Thomas Moore

A random day in my life

Heylos.... Lotsa people blog and everyone has a different story to share. And there are a million thigs people want to tell everyone and a hundred million that they don't. I have never ever coined the teeny meeny details of my life. But today I think I'm going to try that.


"The morning began as any other. I woke up with the feeling that I have all the work in the world to do (which I probably did according to my dazed, sleepy brain but who would ever explain to it that there are others who have a lot more??) and that any minute wasted would ruin everything. Btw all the work in the world consisted of 2 tutorials. And so like a good girl I drag my lazy ass to the table and diligently switch on the laptop. And (duh.... ofcourse I didn't start working) I realised I could spend a few moments in idle gtalking in an effort to wake myself up. That resulted in quite a bit of wasting of my time. Then I did study for some time before I decided that I needed a break and that I can watch an episode of Scrubs while I have breakfast. And so went he morning with a few breaks and a few naps here and there and I only managed to do a few q’s of both tutorials and get late for the first one as a result of which I couldn’t participate in either.

Then after a lunch at Subway came the much dreaded lab. Now despite my efforts to get hold of a log-book I had been unable to do so. The result of which was me sitting in the lab for 45 loooooooooooooongg minutes waiting for my brain to be tingled by the sensations in the atmosphere an produce something that might make a little sense and earn me a few marks too. But ah well life isn’t that miraculous afterall. Or atleast my brain isn’t. And so I strived and struggled and went to get Kalpit’s log-book a few times, all the while feeling like a sly crook(ohh how I hate that feeling) till I finally found it and then it was a breeeeeeze.........

Back to PGP and then it was Scrubs time again. Its really amazing how I can get addicted to the silliest things. Ah man. I must learn to fight and not just think about stopping it. Dinner. And here I am blogging away.”


Well if I was hoping I could be a witty, entertaining writer I think I’m disappointed. But then it was a good time pass. (Is it all that life boils down to???? Passing away precious time!!! The time passes away and all you can do is mourn its loss and cry with regret.) But then I think I’m better at rambling. Like writing about random theories and fantasies of mine. :D That’s all for now. Adios!!!

Wheeeeeee........

Happy Birthday to me!!!!! Considering that it is my birthday I should atleast wish myself... I have an urge to ramble like always but ah well..... :D :D