And I prayed fervently. Hoping against hope that some all-powerful, mysterious being in the folds of the universe would be jobless enough to listen to my insignificant cries for help and actually do something about it. And I start saying it out loud to drown out that voice of reason in me which prevented me from believing what I was saying. Maybe saying it faster would help. Maybe I could drown out all the voices around me that stop me from believing that anything could come from those cries for help!
But I know it’s hopelessly futile. There is no omnipotent, omnipresent all-mighty lord whose only job is to listen to us mortals and our insignificant worries and then actually bother to do something about it! All those meaningless rituals are truly in all probability meaningless!!! Lighting a diya, dipping bread in wine, kneeling, bowing and what not is entirely pointless. If there was truly a God somewhere I doubt he was petty enough to care whether u turned to the left and bowed or if you showered and talked to him. If he really did think all those silly little things are important than maybe I don’t want to bow down to Him/Her. (Did I anger the Gods now???) If not believing in Him means I’m doomed to the blazing fires in the depths of hell than I doubt if I should. Shouldn’t he get it that after all we’re human ad we have our doubts and limitations? Why should I pray to someone who is cocky enough to send you to hell if you so much as doubt his existence? What happened to magnanimity and forgiving?
(Please ignore the tone... I’m not pissed or anything but just like writing this way!! :D)
“When you see all that is going on around you, you need to know it is a part of a greater plan to keep sanity.” That is the gist of what a nurse in Scrubs said. And that is what God and religion is all about. When you don’t have any hope, when you are looking for ever-elusive answers, when the world stops making sense and you wonder how things could continue going wrong like this you need to know that there is a higher being up there who is better off than you are. That there is someone who can help you, someone who has the answers and who knows that everything happens for a reason that we cannot always see. And that’s about it. Faith without questioning, belief in everything you’re told that’s what religion is about. And maybe there’s nothing wrong with it. Why can’t we believe in a few fables if that’s what it takes to get through the tough times in life?? Why can’t we believe in a few rituals that help you to rebuild faith in yourself? Its only when that blind faith starts governing your life that it really is time to stop being so blind. Except that I can’t have that faith except when at the end of my tether and really hope that there was someone out there who could fix things that I can’t. Almost seems like I’m lying to myself.
Sometimes I think that long years back when people didn’t have answers to soooo many everyday questions they just had to create mystic beings to give some semblance of sense and meaning to their lives. Create an order amidst all that lack of information. But apparently they got very caught up in it as they passed it around and now here, centuries later still caught up in it. And now I’m not saying that we should just disregard everything religion says, as all it’s trying to do is instil values that would make life simpler. Wrap it up in colourful stories and sell it. And then things got out of hand with the churches and temples and the power play.
(There are lots of other problems that I have with various faiths but I'll go into the nitty-gritty details some other time!)
So yes, I don’t think there is a God, I don’t believe in all those things that various religions have to say. The only thing kind of God I can believe in is the energy. That’s the only thing that is omnipresent and omnipotent but I know I don’t have to bow before it and it will never punish me for not acknowledging. If anything I can harness it to achieve anything I want. That is all it is about!
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