If only

And I pulled the shawl a little tighter

As if that would stop the wind

And I pulled up my feet

As if that would keep me warmer

No the cold wasn't out there

I shivered, I cringed

I wanted to hide from the cold

There was nowhere to hide from myself

If only I could cuddle up and disappear

I shut my eyes hard

Yes, I couldn’t see the world

But what I did see was worse

Things I did, and things I didn’t

It shouldn’t have been

The broken images hurt my eyes

And it hit me yet again

There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide

Where would I hide myself??

Hide myself from me.....

If only I could chase away the images

There would be comfort in the dark

The emptiness

Comfort in not being me

--Anonymous